Always Be With You
by Aion Laven Walker
Summary: Collection of tragedy oneshot. Chapter 2: Apologize. Lavi hurt Allen...and now he's too late to apologize... LavixAllen, Laven
1. Your Eyes On Me

**Disc: I don't own DGM**

**Suddenly I want to write a sad yullen story, so…here's the story!**

**Enjoy!**

**Always Be With You**

**-**

_I should have known it..._

_-_

I met him 3 years ago.

He came to my father's funeral.

He comforted me who dwell in sadness…sad because I lost the person I cared the most…sad because I have to be alone again…

At first, I didn't like him at all and ignored him.

But…he didn't give up on me. He didn't leave alone. He didn't make me felt the emptiness.

That time…I found the one I love…Kanda Yuu…

-

_I should have realized it sooner…_

_-_

Today, my foster family will take me to the beach.

I want him to come along, but he has a job that he has to finish together with his cousin, Lavi.

Somehow, I really miss his voice…his face…I really don't know why I miss it so badly…

So I decide to go to his house before I go.

I knock his door and Lavi greets me with his cheerful smile.

"Allen? What's up?"

"Is Kanda here? I…want to meet him…"

He grins after I answered it shyly. He knows that I like Kanda and I know Lavi likes me but he withdraws his feelings and then he supports me.

He is really nice guy. I really glad I have a good friend like him…

"Wait here. Yuu-chan! Allen wants to see you!"

He shouts with a very loud voice, loud enough to wake a whole city.

Not in a minute, Kanda comes with angry face and then swings his katana to Lavi.

"Baka Usagi! You don't have to shout! I'm not deaf!"

"But If I didn't do that, you won't come…right? Let me do that job so you two can speak together. See ya!"

Lavi runs as he speaks, leaving us alone. He really supports us, doesn't he?

-

_I should have known those warnings…_

_-_

"So…what do you want, moyashi?"

I frown when he called me by that nickname. I really don't like that nickname…but somehow I start to like it…It makes me…his.

"It's Allen! I…just want to see you before I go…"

When I said it…my chest hurts…

Why?

Why I feel these uneasy feelings?

"Huh? Cut it out! You said it like…you'll never see me again!"

"Sorry…I just…I don't know why I said that… Anyway, I have to go! I'll bring you something."

I smile and wave my hand to him, bid him farewell. He smiles a bit and waves his hand too.

But why?

Why my feelings tell me not to go?

-

_I shouldn't have ignored it…_

_-_

We go to the beach by car. My foster parents are very happy with this trip, but I…feel something wrong…

I feel uncomfortable…so afraid… I never feel like this before when ride a car.

Suddenly, there's a truck in front of our car and crashes us.

The last things I hear are screams and loud noises. I can't see what happened.

What I see is…black.

-

_Now is too late..._

_-_

When I wake up, I don't see anything…only darkness.

I touch my face…there is bandage covering my eyes and head.

Then, I hear voices, Kanda's, Lavi's, and a man that I don't know.

"Allen! Thank God you're awake!"

Their voices…why they seem…worry?

"Kanda? Lavi? What happened?"

They quite… I only hear Kanda's heavy sigh.

"Allen…you…you have a car crash…"

Car crash? Oh that's right…that truck…It hit us…

"Where the others? Why my eyes bandaged?"

They quite again…then another man speaks….looks like he's the doctor.

"Sorry. They died in the crash. Only you survive from that accident. And your eyes…your eyes damaged badly."

_THUMP_

I feel my heart stop for a second after hearing that.

My foster parents…died…and…I…I…I can't see…?

No…this is a nightmare…it has to be a nightmare…

But this pain…it realized me that this isn't a nightmare…

It is real.

_-_

_The darkness swallows me…_

_-_

After a few weeks, my wounds recovered but not my eyes…I'm still blind.

The only thing I see is darkness…

But I don't feel alone…Kanda and Lavi are here…always here…

They always nice to me and care to me…even my condition isn't perfect…

Sometimes….because of that too…I feel useless…become burden…

_-_

_But you become my light…_

_-_

"Uum…Kanda…do you want to…break up?"

I can feel he surprised by my question.

I don't want to burden him with my currently state…so I asked him to break up our relationship…

I don't want that either…I still love him…but now I'm blind…

"Baka! Why do you ask that nonsense question?!"

He yells at me…angry…

"That because…I…useless and…blind… You don't want to have a boyfriend like this, do you?"

"BAKA! I don't care if you blind or not! I love you moyashi!"

I surprised by his statement. I never expected this…but I'm…happy…

Happy that I have a boyfriend like him…so faithful…

I feel like see a light in this darkness…

_-_

_You save me from the everlasting darkness…_

_-_

"You will the eye operation…that way, you will see again."

The doctor's words give me hope…hope to see his face again…to see his smile again…

But again, there's something weird feeling in my chest…

"Hear that, Allen? You will see again."

Allen? He called me Allen? That's unusual…

"Kan-"

Before I finish my words, he kisses me…a very deep and long kiss…

He hugs me very tight…like he doesn't want to let me go…

He acts very unusual…Lavi also quite these days…I've got weird feelings about this…

_-_

_I can see the lights again because of you…_

_-_

Three days later, the doctors do an operation with my eyes.

I can't really remember what happened before I passed out because of the drugs…

After the operation finished, I can see again but the doctor still forbids me to have a visitor until I recover.

I can't wait to see him again…to see Kanda…and Lavi…

Two weeks later, the doctor allows me to leave the hospital.

When I go out from the hospital, I see Lavi waiting for me in the lobby.

But…I don't see Kanda around…

That's weird…they always together…

"Allen!"

He runs to me and hugs me while smiling brightly.

"Hello Lavi…where's Kanda?"

His smile suddenly dropped. His eyes also become a sad one.

"What's wrong?"

"…I'll take you to his place."

He gives me a sad smile and then takes me to his car.

In his car, he inserts a CD into his laptop and plays it.

It's a video of him, Kanda.

_-_

_You give the lights…even if you left me forever…_

_-_

"_Is it on yet, usagi?"_

_Kanda sit on the edge of the bed._

"_Yup, the camera is ready."_

_He takes a deep breath and then starts talking with serious face._

"_Moyashi, If you see this video that means I…already gone. I…have a cancer in my lungs…and I will die…"_

_He silences a while, searching the right words._

"_The doctor said that…If I give you my eyes, you can see again. So when I die, the doctor will do the eye operation. I will give my eyes to you."_

_Kanda smiles at the camera, a soft yet reassuring smile._

"_I'm sorry…I can't be there when you can see again…I want you to be with Lavi after I'm gone…He loves you…I want you two happy together-hey usagi, stop crying like a baby! You ruin the video!"_

"_B-Bu (sniff)…y-you know (sniff) why I'm crying! (sniff)"_

_Kanda sighs and then stares the camera again with soft look._

"_I love you Allen…I always love you… So don't give up on living, keep living for my sake…because I will be always with you, as your eyes…"_

_-_

_But I will keep moving forward…_

_-_

I shocked after I saw the video…

I feel like everything stop and blank…

"Allen…I'm sorry…"

I turn my head and stare at Lavi who looks very sad and guilty…

"So…these eyes are…Kanda's…? He… Why?"

"He loves you Allen…very love you…"

No…It can't be… Finally I can see again but…I can't see you again…can't see you face again…can't see your smile again…

No…this isn't fair! Why?!

"Allen…we're here…"

Lavi holds my hands and takes me to the cemetery.

He takes me to Kanda's graveyard…

In there, I cry…very loud…

_-_

_Because you always with me…_

_-_

Years have past…

Now I'm with Lavi and become his boyfriend…

He loves me and I love him too…but I still can't forget my first love…Kanda Yuu…

But I won't dwell in sadness anymore…

I will move forward and keep on living…for your sake…

I won't be alone…because you always with me by my side…

I always love you…Kanda Yuu…forever…

**Fin.**

**Review please!**


	2. Apologize

**Disc: I don't own DGM…**

**I'm back! =D**

**Pairing: Laven (LavixAllen)**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: a bit OC, character death**

**Hope you like it! =)**

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---0---

_**I don't know what to say about 25**__**th**__** December… I don't know I should happy or sad…**_

_**15 years ago on 25**__**th**__** December…I was born…**_

_**5 years ago on 25**__**th**__** December… I met you…**_

_**3 years ago on 25**__**th**__** December… I lost my father…**_

_**2 years ago on 25**__**th**__** December… I went with my uncle…**_

_**1 year ago on 25**__**th**__** December… I lost my uncle…**_

_**And now on the same date… I lost everything…**_

---0---

-

A 10 years old boy with white hair sat on the park. He was waiting for his father. He sat there alone…struggled against the cold weather. No other kids wanted to play with him because of his appearances. But it was fine to him… as long as he has a person who loved him. When he almost drifted to the dream realm…a flash of red appeared.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The white haired boy raised his head and looked to the person who called him. It was a boy around 13 with red hair and green eyes, but his right eye-patched. He liked an opposite to him. Red met white, injured left eye met injured right eye.

"…I'm fine."

Of course that was a lie. He had a fever but he didn't want to tell it to anybody, including his father. He didn't want to make him worried.

The red haired boy frowned and placed his hand to the white haired boy's forehead. The white haired boy startled and his eye's opened widely in confusion.

"Of course you're not okay- What the?! You got a fever! And this one is high! I'll take you to a doctor!"

When he about to carry the white haired boy, the white haired boy moved away from him… scared… he scared if the red haired would separate him from his father.

"N-No need to! I-I'm waiting for my father here so I-I can't leave."

The red haired boy stared at him for a while and then he sat beside him. The white haired still alerted if he would take him. As if he could read the white haired boy's mind, he smiled and stroked his white hair.

"Don't worry. I won't take you away. I'm not a kidnapper. Trust me."

The white haired didn't truly believe him at first. But his bright smile told him that he honest. With that, he believed him.

After a moment they sat there mutely, the red haired broke the silence. He warped his brown scarf to around his neck and the white haired boy's.

"You're cold and have a fever. This will help reduce the cold."

He surprised. Why he help a totally stranger which hated by everybody? They only met a few minutes ago but why he had been…nice to him?

"I haven't asked your name…so, what's your name, snowy? Mine's Lavi, Lavi Bookman Jr."

"S-snowy?! My name is Allen Walker, not snowy. That's like…a pup's name…"

"Sorry sorry. But your hair color like snow, so I called you that."

Allen pouted. But deep inside, he was happy…It was the first time he had conversation with a kid. Usually, the other kids avoided him…but Lavi didn't.

From that short meeting…a strong bond created…

-

When Allen became 12 years old, at his birthday... he lost his father. Mana got a cancer in his lungs. He had suffering from a long time, and this was his limit.

"Mana, don't leave me…please…"

Allen sobbed while holding Mana's hand. He didn't want to lose Mana, the first person who loved him for the first time. Beside him, Lavi and his grandfather stood.

Mana stared weakly to Lavi and said his last wish to him.

"This is my…last wish… Lavi…please take care of Allen…"

"Yes, don't worry about it…"

Lavi nodded. And then Mana stared at Allen…with a weak smile…

"And Allen…"

"Y-yes?"

Allen answered with hoarse voice. He still cried.

"I…love…you…"

After he said it, he lost his life. And yet with that single event, Allen's life changed.

-

A year had past from Mana's death. Now Allen adopted by Cross Marian, Mana's best friend. Just like Lavi promised to Mana, he took care of him. He protected him and always be with him. Their feelings now became more than friends or brothers. They became lovers.

But their happy days didn't long. Allen must went with his foster father to Japan, he must separated with Lavi.

"It can't be help… But that's okay. We can still keep in touch! We'll always call each other everyday, send e-mails, and give comments on our friendsters!"

"Yeah… I'll always contact you, Lavi. I… I love you."

"Love you too, moyashi!"

"It's Allen!"

-

Just like their promises, they called each other everyday, sent e-mails, and gave comments on their friendsters. With that, they didn't felt lonely.

But something strange happened on the next year. Lavi couldn't contact Allen at all. He didn't pick his phone when Lavi called, he didn't send e-mails, didn't reply Lavi's comments. After 6 months like that, Lavi gave up. He thought that Allen bored with him and hated him…

But that wasn't the truth. The truth that happened was Allen and Cross came back to London. But they had a car crash. Cross died in the crash. Allen became coma.

-

After a year coma, Allen awoke. But when he awoke, he knew things won't be normal. His left hand must amputated and his left eye blind. He also must sit in the wheelchair because he couldn't walk anymore. And because of that accident, he had a very weak heart. A single shock could be very deadly to him.

-

"So, how do you feel today, Walker?"

Dr. Bak was charged to take care of Allen. He was really friendly and always helps him when Allen got the heart attack.

"I feel great."

"That's good..."

It's been a week after Allen woke up from coma, but Lavi still didn't visit him or contact him.

'Maybe he still doesn't know about my condition…'

"Uum…doctor, I want to tell someone about my condition. Can you tell me where I can call?"

"Oh, you can use my cell phone. Here."

"Thanks."

Allen dialed Lavi's numbers. First, his house's numbers…but nobody picked it. So, he dialed his cell phone.

'Please pick it…'

After a while, his pray answered. Lavi picked it.

"_Yes, who's this?"_

Allen felt very happy to hear Lavi's voice again. But his voice rather cold than usual…

"L-Lavi…It's me, Allen…"

"…_A-Allen?! Where have you been? You didn't give me a single new?"_

Allen could felt Lavi's surprises. After all, he had coma for a year… Allen really wanted to tell him everything. But when he wanted to tell him…

"_Ah, sorry. I've got to go. There's something important. Bye."_

"Wha- Lavi, please wait-"

He cut it off. Allen tried to call him again but failed. From Lavi's voices, it seemed that he was angry.

-

A few days later, Allen got an unexpected visitor. It was Kanda. Allen felt happy that he got a visitor, but a little sad because it wasn't Lavi.

When he saw Allen's conditions, he seemed very surprised. And then he sat beside him.

"Che. So it's just like Fou said. You look terrible, moyashi."

"It's Allen, Bakanda! Wait- Fou? How she know it?"

"She works here as a nurse and then she told us by bulletin in friendster."

Allen thought for a moment. He did saw a nurse who with and she looked like Fou. But he didn't realize it was really Fou, his friend in friendster. If she told about his conditions in the bulletin, Lavi sure had known his conditions…since he was a very active user in there.

'But…why he sounded like he doesn't know it?'

Curious, then he asked Kanda which was Lavi's best friend.

"So…Lavi know about my conditions?"

"Dunno. I haven't met him for weeks. Every time I call, he doesn't pick it."

-

Although his loneliness decreased because of Kanda who visited him every day, but he still missed Lavi. He was really curious. Why Lavi didn't pick his phone? Why Lavi seemed…avoided him? And why Lavi sounded…angry?

He didn't know what to do. But after looked at Kanda's laptop, he got an idea.

"Kanda, can you help me?"

"Che. What is it, moyashi?"

"Ano… can you…tell Lavi about my conditions by comment to his profile?"

Kanda looked surprised. He never thought about that way before. But, after thought about Lavi's weird behavior, he didn't expect much.

"I don't know it'll work. He didn't log in for weeks-"

"At least we try! Please…"

"…Fine. Just don't hope too much."

As Allen's request, Kanda sent comments to Lavi's profile…hope Lavi would see it. But just like Kanda expected, Lavi didn't log in again.

-

Just 1 days to Allen's birthday, 25th December. Lavi still didn't contact Allen at all. Because of that, Allen seemed very depressed. Plus Kanda couldn't come because he must help his foster father.

For killing time, Allen walked around the hospital by his wheelchair. He looked at the snow outside. The scenery was just like when he met Lavi for the first time.

When he walked across Bak's office, he saw a glace of red hair walking inside. He rushed to in front of his office and peeked from the open door. He was right…it was Lavi. But the scene inside made his heart hurt badly.

-

**(Allen POV)**

I see Lavi sat beside an Asian girl with pigtails. His hand is holding hers. They just like…a lover…

No! No! No! Lavi will never cheat on me! He promised to me and Mana!

But...he doesn't contact me or visit me…is that mean…?

"So how is her leg, Dr. Bak?"

"Your girlfriend's leg is fine. Nothing serious."

_THUMP_

My heart stops for a second. His…girlfriend…? No… It can't be…

My heart is hurt. I can't believe that…Lavi leave me…he doesn't care about me anymore… My tears slowly flow. I immediately leave that place. I can't hold this pain any longer.

-

**(Normal POV)**

A day after the shocking truth, Kanda came and then Allen told him everything. He also shocked, never expected that Lavi would betrayed his promises.

"Kanda…can I…borrow your laptop? Don't worry…it's the last time."

Allen sadly smiled to Kanda. Kanda only confused with Allen's weird action.

-

Meanwhile in Lavi's place, he and his girlfriend, Lenalee Lee, came to the hospital again. This time for checking Lenalee's condition. But when he waited for her, his phone ringing.

"_Finally you pick up this time, damn usagi!"_

It was Kanda. Usually, Lavi would cut it off. But since he was in good mood, he accepted the call.

"Yoo…Yuu-chan. What's up?"

"_Che. Open your profile."_

"Pardon?"

"_Open your damn profile in friendster. Now!"_

"Wha-"

"_Hurry up, you baka usagi!"_

"Okay…okay… I'll open it. Geez…"

Lavi obeyed him and open his profile by his laptop. He wondered why Kanda forced him to open it. But after he saw the newest comments, it explained everything.

"_Have you seen it? That's the reason why moyashi disappear last year and now, you hurt him."_

"I…God, what have I done?"

He regretted it all. He regretted he judged Allen without knowing his reasons. He regretted he spoke so coldly when Allen called him. He regretted he broke his promises.

He really shocked knowing the truth, especially the last comment.

_------------_

_Allen Walker_

_23/12/20xx 09.00 am_

_Lavi…I…know the reason you ignored me. I know that…you have a girlfriend._

_I don't know why you leave me…are you boring with me? Do you not love me anymore?_

_Hahaha…I sound like a desperate girl…_

_But that's okay. You looked so happy with her. I feel…happy too…_

_I never allowed to be loved…so I'm okay that you leave me_

_My life is not longer…so I want to tell you this for the last time_

_I love you Lavi…always…and thank you…_

_-Allen_

_------------_

-

After read the last comment, he drove his car immediately to the hospital, leaving Lenalee. In his head, Allen's last comment repeated over and over. It really tortured Lavi from inside.

'Why I have done this cruel things to him?! God, I really hate my self now!'

-

When he arrived to the hospital, suddenly Kanda dragged him. Lavi only confused.

"Wait! Yuu, what's wrong?"

"Don't struggle! Just come!"

"What happens?"

"He's dying!"

Lavi's heart felt like stabbed with Kanda's sword. He just knew the truth and he was going to apologize…but now, he was dying. He couldn't accept that.

-

Allen's room was full of doctor and nurses. They were trying to save his life. That time, Kanda and Lavi arrived. Lavi immediately reached for his hand and called his name.

"Allen, please hang in there! Please live!"

With Lavi's voice, Allen eyes slowly opened. He smiled weakly to the red haired as if saying goodbye.

"Allen, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…I never meant to hurt you. I love you, Allen!"

He surprised and felt happy, because he could hear him said that for the last time. He was happy because Lavi didn't hate him, he still loved him. He could felt his time was near, so he tried to say for the last time.

"Lavi…I…love you…thank you for…everything…I'll always…be with…you…"

With that, his last breath left him. He died…Allen Walker was dead…on his birthday…

-

At the first week, Lavi still couldn't accept the truth about Allen's dead. He still regretted what he did to him. But then, he slowly accepted his dead after reminisced his last moment. Allen smiled weakly to him and died peacefully. He decided not to dwell in sadness too long. He will continue living…

'You always be with me, Allen…in my heart… So, wait for me…Sooner or later, I'll go to your place…'

-

**Fin**

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